Transitioning

So here we are, all alone, on this entry... together...
One thing about me that is possibly, no utterly completly strange is that, although I'm bi gender, I want to semi-transition.
Yes like a ftm, or mtf (female to male, male to female).
Now by semi, all I want to do is pass when i'm identifying as a male. I want to purchase binders and possibly a packer ( so far I don't think I need a packer to substain my feelings as a boy ).
When I told most of my friends that I was bigendered and that it's a emotional state of being, they laughed. Not laughing to hurt me, but laughing at that couldn't be true. I mean they all know i'm very guyish in multiple ways, but they were thinking what I was thinking: Is she just a tomboy being confused?
I asked them that if I was born a boy, would I still be pansexual or gay. They said yes, they think i'd be the same, and I agree, I can't see myself being straight. That's depressing (no offense to the hetersexuals out there).
My friends know for sure that I am absolutely comfrontable with my sexuality, and I always express it at school (HEY!! I do NOT have sex at school, all i'm saying is that i flirt a lot with my friends, and yes I grope my friends ^-^).
I decided that I will not get a boob job in the future to make my bust a little bigger, so I can feel more confident in other clothing, because for 1:
they are perfect the size they are
for 2:
they're easier to bind, at this size (I'm like a B32, or something like that).
So far for the binding (alternative binding since I have not a lot of money) I got some small sports bras, and used those plus an althetic shirt that had a sports bra built in, with a winter scarf to wrap around my torso, and then another athletic shirt over that to flatten everything else down. Now I know that was a little extreme, but it isn't all that bad to be honest, and the results was like a B+ instead of a A+.
My facial structer is very femmine so I wouldn't pass for anyting, but in the future I plan on cutting my hair, and maybe that'll work.
I jump around a lot in my head on which gender I feel like for the day. I want a consuler or therapist to help me out, but my family doesn't support me, so I don't know how to pay for it. I rather not discuss my emotions with my school consulers because I rather talk to a stranger, than have someone I know judge me and spread it throught the school (which I know shouldn't happen, but you'll never know).